I... [It's hard to say. He can't just come out with it. He finds himself talking anyway, leading up to it perhaps, or just stalling for time.]

...I told you- and the rest of Adstringendum- back when I was new here. I told you all about my world and the government. How people vying for power summoned an entity which broke free of their tenuous control and rained fire down on London.

[He glances off.]

How I decided to change things, with a friend of mine, and- with Bartimaeus. [His voice gets quieter now, he glances down and fiddles awkwardly with his sleeve.] And I'm... I'm afraid to say that I told the truth. None of the cabinet survived the attack.

[He looks up at her from the corner of his eye, nervous, almost trembling.] ...not even me.